Free Fall

Fourteen years ago, I came face to face with one of the most terrifying things I have ever experienced. I have always had a fear of heights, and after a few emergency landings, a fear of flying as well. And, here I was in a tiny tin plane, almost 2.5 miles up in the sky about ready to jump.

You may be wondering… why would I put myself in this situation?

• Was it to appease my best friend, who paid for everyone in her closest circle, to skydive on her bday?
• Was it because my husband and friends at the time had already committed to jumping?
• Was it because 3 people I had working on our new home at the time had overheard me talking about it and shared their unsolicited incredible skydiving experiences and why I should do it?

If I am being 100% honest with myself and others, yes, I suppose pieces of all 3 of these reasons propelled me to jump that day. But, upon reflecting, the biggest reason I set ALL logic and reason aside that day was something else…

I truly wanted to stare my two biggest FEARS in the face and in doing so, make them seem smaller and less scary. I wanted to be able to sit on my next Southwest flight for work, and rather than put my head in between my legs upon take off, ( yep, that was my protocol) be able to sit back in my seat, and remind myself I jumped out of one of these things and lived to tell about it. And, to remind myself that if I can do that, I can certainly sit in a much bigger, probably safer airplane, and get to my destination safely.

Fast forward to today…. the official first day of Fall (9/22/24). Fall is hands down my favorite season of the year, and it is also a time when change is inevitable and may I add beautiful. Fall is the time of year when leaves change colors everywhere, including here in San Diego, and the light just appears more magical and soothing. It is also the time of year when species, including monarch butterflies and ruby- throated hummingbirds migrate up to 2,000 miles to warmer locations. And, do so against significant risks from climate change, predation, and energy depletion. For example, Ruby-throated Hummingbirds have to make 18-22 hour non-stop flights over the Gulf of Mexico to reach safety. Imagine enduring that lengthy flight without refueling using those tiny wings? But, they do it every year and have an upwards of 80% migration rate!

And, yes, Fall is also a time when leaves fall to the ground. Daylight shortens, And, people experience disruption in their lives. I am now one of those people. I lost my job recently and I am also in a fight with Mother Nature to not lose both of my parents who are also in a state of free fall. And, unlike me 14 years ago, when I had a parachute and a confident Navy Seal attached to my back, this free fall is longer than 60 seconds. And, on many days, feels like that 60-second terrifying free fall period on repeat.

But, like the Ruby-throated hummingbird, I know if I keep my destination in sight, keep flapping my wings (my nickname is even Bird), and know warmer, more comfortable landings are in sight, I will keep flying. And, do so knowing incredible new adventures await me.

And, so on this beautiful Fall day, know that no matter what is changing all around you, know you are not alone. Relish in the beautiful changing colors, the smell of cinnamon in stores, the little lucky hummingbirds buzzing around you, and know they are all welcoming you and me into a new a season of life.

Happy Fall Y’all.